the end of it ?

as the time flies....i m now stuck between lines ....the two thick lines...the truth is i also cannot know whether now is the time or the time is right to take action....a lot of thing happen this days...been hospitalisd for a week....erm...being numb for two....being childish for third and crazy on forth ...erm...what happen to me are really twist of fate...erm.really could not understand...how come this happen to me sooo quick...i thought of all human ..im the best story board ever created...not for the worst nor the best but the mixed balance and twisted story ever ....is this fate...? good .....bad......balance ...the devil inside me always want out...but yet there always soft landed want to be part of it ...i told al the concern party on it..yet my deep inside yet to be convice....why...what im worrying for..what the ? what ? what im thinking about ....my end is not far away ..may be by December 2009 the time is set ...should i do the distance over it...or what ?